


Garden of Bottles

by truejaku (hereonourstreet)



Category: DRAMAtical Murder (Visual Novel), DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Scrap (DRAMAtical Murder)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-24 09:59:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16637780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hereonourstreet/pseuds/truejaku
Summary: A commission I did not that long ago for a good friend and never posted. Yes, I wrote Mizunoiz in 2018 and yes I'm posting it before the year ends.This one lightly addresses what the sequel to ATYBMH would've been, where Mink and Aoba come home for a visit and Noiz wants Aoba to use Scrap on him in order to cure him and Mizuki doesn't think it's such a good idea. Koujaku is in it for a bit because I am uncomfortable when we are not about Koujaku.





	Garden of Bottles

**Author's Note:**

> cw sex... uhh i think that's it honestly. this fic was written as a commission for [my friend](https://twitter.com/themizunoiz)!!

Aoba has been back for about two days now and you figure that’s enough time. He’s settled, he’s seen the people he really cares about, namely his grandmother, and now is your chance. You should be able to see him sometime soon and he should give you the moment to ask: can you Scrap me?

You know it’s sudden and a little intense. You know it’s dangerous and it would mean a lot would change between you and him - and Mizuki. But you never thought you’d be where you are now. You never imagined yourself in a  _ relationship  _ that’s  _ healthy  _ with a  _ cute guy _ . You didn’t know that one day you’d give a shit. You’d care about your own mortality and worry that you might be taken away from all this way too early. That your condition is more than just a condition. It’s a curse. There’s no silver lining to it anymore. All it is to you is the threat to shuffle you out of this mortal coil too soon; to take you away from a family you never thought you’d have.

You’ve mentioned it to Mizuki before: what if you didn’t have this condition? Mizuki doesn’t like it. The first time you ever said, he actually get quite upset. He didn’t like the idea of you disliking something about yourself; of you treating yourself like a pain or a nuisance. But you don’t. Not really; not anymore. It’s this fucking broken body that’s the problem. It’s this disability that you have no reason to be proud of; that only hinders you and when you brought up the idea that one day it might make it difficult for you to have children, Mizuki sort of blushed and looked away. He reassured you that it would not matter, you could always adopt. But why would you adopt when it was possible to have biological children with Mizuki now? There was a time where it wasn’t possible, but that’s been so far behind humanity that you can’t even fathom it. 

You want to have kids with  _ Mizuki _ . And this could easily put them at risk.

Koujaku is hilariously upset about the visit. He was so excited to see Aoba again that the days before his arrival, you thought he might explode. But as it slowly dawned on him that Mink would never leave his side, he became more and more morose. For forty-eight hours you watched as his mood deteriorated. You laughed at him for thinking their friendship was going to be the same. That was probably cruel of you. He didn’t seem to notice much; he’s used to you by now, but you think you should be a little kinder. You know how you’d feel if you couldn’t have Mizuki. And Koujaku is the only person you think might love another human as much as you love Mizuki. Still, it’s Koujaku and he’s hilarious even when he’s sad. Especially when he’s sad.

All that being said, you’re not sure why Mizuki seems so put out by Aoba’s return.

Koujaku asked if you guys wanted to go with him and Tae-san to pick Aoba and Mink up. You thought it was a rhetorical question and started to nod when Mizuki interrupted, barged right into the conversation like an elephant and said,  _ “We’re busy that day, I think.” _

_ “Tomorrow?”  _ you asked. He shot you a withering stare and you clammed up. Koujaku could tell something was wrong too but didn’t say much because he was too distracted by Aoba’s ass or whatever.

So you’re not exactly shocked when Mizuki  _ really  _ freaks out at your proposal.

“We don’t know if he can even still do it,” he tells you. “Or wants to.”

“I know.”

“So don’t get your heart set on it.”

“I’m just going to ask.”

“Don’t ask.”

“Why not?”

“Because it puts too much pressure on him.”

“So I’m just this way forever?”

“We can find a new doctor.”

“I’m sick of doctors,” you say angrily. “They can’t do anything. They never could. This is my only chance.”

Mizuki gets up from the kitchen table and glares down at you.

“Fine,” he says finally with a shrug. “Far be it from me to get in your way when you really want something.”

He pauses for a moment, as if he’s waiting for you to reply, but you don’t really know what to say before he leaves the room. You follow him into the living room.

“Imagine how much healthier I’d be.”

Mizuki picks up a blanket from the couch and starts to fold it. He doesn’t answer for a few moments. Then, softly:

“Fine. I just love you the way you are.”

You fall asleep with him in your arms that night, a smile on your face, though you’re not exactly sure what’s on his.

The next day, Koujaku is in your kitchen when you wake up. Mizuki is nowhere to be seen but Koujaku seems like a miserable wreck so you sit down across from him with a smile. He somehow finds himself here sometimes even when Mizuki isn’t around. You suppose you’ve found a sort of routine with him. You’re not exactly hateful anymore - not that you ever really were, that was mostly him - but you also don’t bring up the fact that you’ve seen each other naked or that he’s been inside you. Mizuki brings it up sometimes, when you both are really pissing him off, just because he knows you both hate remembering it. When you fight a bit too much, he’ll roll his eyes and say,  _ “Now, now, do you two need to fuck again to get it out of your systems?”  _ It tends to stop the argument in its tracks.

But Mizuki isn’t here right now.

So you sit across from him with a smile. He shakes his head at you.

“Mizuki said I could stay.”

“Is he at work?”

“He went to grab some food. He’ll be back any second.”

“I don’t mind,” you shrug. “Guess I can’t walk around naked though.”

“Oh,” Koujaku says with another shake of his head. “Don’t let me stop you.”

“You’d be interested if I did?”

“It would at least take my mind off Aoba.”

Your grin falters. You know that’s why he’s upset, but hearing him say it so freely - he’s really changed a lot. It used to be impossible for him to admit to it, and you still don’t know if that’s because he couldn’t accept feelings for another man or if he was just in denial that he loved someone he couldn’t have. But he says it now and it hits something in your chest. You think it’s your heart but whatever it is, it makes your ribcage hurt. 

You’re not going to let him know it, but you feel bad for him.

You go for the hem of your t-shirt and take it off with a stupid grin. Koujaku’s eyes go wide at first but then he smiles when he realizes what you’re doing. Sure, you’ll help distract him. Because you know how hard it is to see the person you love with someone else - well, you imagine you would feel horrible, at least. You can’t really fathom how Koujaku feels, but you can certainly see yourself even worse than Koujaku if you ever had to see Mizuki with another man. You gesture to yourself and tilt your head at Koujaku, ushering a response from him. He shakes his head yet again.

“Please,” he says. “No more.”

“Alright.”

There’s a long pause. You never really  _ mean  _ to comfort Koujaku, but you put your hand on top of his anyway.

“It sucks.”

That’s all you have to say. He looks at your hand, appalled that you’re touching him in any way. You sort of enjoy shocking him like this, so you don’t really see it as some uncharacteristic move. You just want to see his face twisted into disgust and shock, but you also kind of want to see his face be anything but sad.

There’s a rustling in the doorway before Koujaku can answer. Mizuki is standing there, a plastic bag in hand. He’s staring at you both. You pull your hand away out of embarrassment more than guilt. His eyes flick from your hand to your chest and he cocks his head to the side.

“Where’s your shirt?”

You stare at him, thinking of an excuse that isn’t exactly a lie but doesn’t tell the whole truth.

“I took it off to distract Koujaku from thinking about Aoba.”

Mizuki stares back at you. That was just the truth. Hey, at least you’re honest with your partner. He approaches the table and drops the bag onto it. Koujaku seems uneasy as Mizuki leans down and picks your shirt up, then drops it in front of you.

“Here.”

You thank him awkwardly and put it back on. No one mentions this moment again for the rest of the day. Mizuki acts like it never happened. You know that’s a bad thing. You offer to go into Black Needle with him later that night to help out and he clearly wants to say no but has to say yes - there’s been a lot of turnover and he’s had to be there for more than just tattoos for a while. Both you and Koujaku have helped out before, but he seems to resent it quite a bit. He doesn’t say anything - that’s kind of the problem. He just goes quiet and then puts his hand on your shoulder and smiles sadly. That’s him thanking you, because if he has to admit out loud that he needed you to be there, he’d cry. So he keeps his mouth shut and his tears in.

Since you don’t know jackshit about alcohol - and aren’t great with people in general - Koujaku tends bar and you help clean. You don’t have to interact with anyone for that, plus you get to clear spaces prematurely, just to glare at people who loiter around. Mizuki hates it when you do that.  _ “This isn’t a restaurant. They’re supposed to stay and drink as long as they want.”  _ You don’t care. You don’t like when people stand around and make the place too crowded without spending any money.

You don’t tell Mizuki that and tonight, you decide to let people straggle as much as they want. You don’t want to upset Mizuki any more than he already is, but it turns out you didn’t need to worry about that: you find him in the backroom a little bit later, his back turned to the doorway and his shoulders heaving up and down. He’s crying. He’s definitely crying. Your body moves before you can stop it. It’s instinct. You see your boyfriend crying and you reach out to him. You say his name as softly as you can. You go up to him and envelope him in the warmest hug you can.

He pushes you off in surprise. When he sees it’s you, he calms down. But he still doesn’t want to touch you and when you ask if he’s okay, he says yes.

“I thought you were crying.”

“No, just catching my breath.”

He gets up to leave.

“Mizuki.”

“It’s just that everyone’s leaving again,” he says abruptly, his back to you. He turns his head a bit so you can see his profile, but that’s where he remains. “They’re all leaving again. There’s no one left. And I don’t want to do anything stupid again.”

You’re a little taken aback. You knew he was sad that people were quitting, both Black Needle and Dry Juice, but you didn’t know he’d blame himself. You didn’t know he still thinks he’s to blame for what happened before Platinum Jail or that he’d ever label himself ‘stupid’ for it.

“You didn’t do anything stupid.”

“I did the stupidest thing I could have,” he spits suddenly. Then he goes back to normal: “But whatever. It just sucks.”

He leaves the room after that and as the door starts to close behind him, you catch Koujaku’s eye. He’s watching you from the bar, his face just as worried as yours.

So you approach him that night. You know he’s tired and you feel a little bad taking advantage of it, but he’ll be more vulnerable now. He’ll be weaker and he’ll probably share more with you than during the day, because that’s the thing: he never shares anything with you, not anything like this. He shares his bed and body, but not his feelings. This is what he does. He bottles everything up which you know is a cliche, but it’s true. He has a little garden of cats that he’s shared with you, but he also has a little garden of bottles that he lets no one else touch.

“You’ve been a mess lately,” you say. You think it comes out a little more irritated than you meant for it to, but you are irritated. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

He’s getting ready for bed. He only has on his boxer briefs and you stare at his back tattoos as usual. 

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“I haven’t been attentive enough,” you tell him. “I’m sorry. Please tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing is wrong.”

He turns to you and catches your eye. You know that’s it, it’s all over. You don’t have to yell or raise your voice at all. You can break Mizuki down just with a  _ look _ , and he immediately worries his bottom lip. It’s because he hates keeping things from you and you know that. So when you  _ know  _ he’s doing it, he gets…

“Everything.”

It takes you a moment to reply because you don’t realize he’s spoken.

“Wh - what?”

“Everything is wrong.”

He doesn’t look like he’s close to tears but you open up your arms anyway. He comes to the bed but he doesn’t sit in your embrace. He sits next to you and looks you in the eyes, but he doesn’t want to touch yet. That’s fine. You put your arms down and ask him to elaborate.

“It’s just a lot of stuff. Has me… sad.”

“What stuff?”

You almost don’t want to ask because you don’t want him to call you out: Scrap, Koujaku, Aoba. There’s a lot you’ve done lately to upset him but if he doesn’t tell you that, what are you supposed to do?

He doesn’t want to answer you. He looks at the bed in contemplation. His eyes are concerned and his hands starts to tighten around the blankets. He’s stressed as hell.

“Mink and Aoba.”

“What about them?”

“How did they figure their relationship out so easily?”

You stop for a moment to think.

“It probably wasn’t easy.”

“But why isn’t it as easy for us?”

You’re taken aback.

“What’s not easy about us?”

“A lot of stuff, Noiz. There’s still a lot of stuff that isn’t easy.”

You suppose you knew that, but you’re still kind of surprised to hear him admit it. No relationship is easy, isn’t that we he said? Is their relationship really so bad that he envies someone else’s?

“It’s probably just because Aoba and I still have a friendship that’s so… strained.”

“You do?”

“And I’m glad you and Koujaku are getting along,” he barrels along. “But why won’t he come to me anymore? Do you know what it’s like when I walk in and you’re shirtless, holding his hand? I wasn’t worried about you. I was worried about him.” You feel yourself flush as you look away. That’s a little embarrassing. But he doesn’t give you a chance to respond. “I don’t think you’re cheating on me. I think he is. Because it feels like everyone else is. They’re all gone. They’re all leaving. They’re leaving me again and moving on and maybe I should be moving on, too? I’m almost thirty. I should be somewhere new, shouldn’t I?”

You want to tell him no, he doesn’t  _ need  _ to be anywhere but here, with you. Anywhere. Anywhere with you. But then he takes a deep breath and you know what that means. That’s his  _ I’m about to say something really difficult  _ voice.

“And Scrap.”

You look up at him again. You’d forgotten about that.

“What about Scrap?”

“I’ve been through it,” he says. “Sometimes I think you don’t remember that. I know what it’s like. And I know what happens if it goes wrong firsthand. It’s not some theoretical fear for me like it is for you. And if it did go well, then you and Aoba would… have that.”

You cock your head to the side. You don’t know what he means.

“Have what?”

He sighs.

“You’d have something that I don’t have with you.”

You sit back. But wait a minute -

“Didn’t you always say I can’t be a part of your other relationships?” you accuse. “You and Koujaku have something I can’t have. What about me? Don’t I get to have that, too?”

He looks you in the eye. He’s really beautiful.

“I didn’t say it was fair of me.”

You take a deep breath.

“But-”

“I’m already not a part of a lot of things,” he says. “He’d be so far into your mind that he’d know things you don’t even  _ realize  _ exist there. Things you couldn’t possibly tell me because you don’t even know to do it. You don’t know it’s there yourself.” He pauses and shrugs. “I don’t like that. I didn’t say it was fair. But I don’t like that.”

You frown at him sadly. You didn’t know it was this bad.

“But worst of all-”

“It gets worse?”

He actually smiles at you. He lets out a little laugh through his nose.

“Worst of all, I haven’t actually kissed you in so long.”

Your heart skips a beat. It doesn’t matter how together you are. It doesn’t matter how much time passes. Mizuki wanting to kiss you will always make your heart race.

“What do you mean?”

“We haven’t… been together in a long time. Like, months.”

You don’t know exactly what he means. You’ve definitely fucked in the past month. You fuck a lot, actually. He must mean you haven’t… felt  _ together  _ while you do it.

“Look,” you say, leaning forward and putting your hands on his shoulder. You lean in and kiss him once, gently. “We went through just as much as Mink and Aoba. They live in the middle of nowhere. All they have is each other. That might be romantic. But we have more than that.” You kiss him again and this time, his body stops tensing. “We don’t have to work the same way they do.” You kiss him a third time and he melts into you.

“Noiz, I-”

“Aoba doesn’t think anything is strained,” you continue, pulling back and bringing Mizuki down to the bed. You lay him on his back as you continue: “He feels like he’s the one who hurt you. Scrap put you in the hospital. You just need to talk to him. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I did a lot-”

You kiss him, this time more passionately. He immediately brings his hands to your face and pulls you closer. He seems to understand now what’s about to happen and he lifts his legs, locking his ankles behind your back. He presses down a bit, imploring you to continue.

“I promise,” you tell him softly, pulling away for just a moment and then kissing again. “I will never,” another kiss, “have a moment,” once more, “with Koujaku,” one last kiss, “ever again.”

He laughs at you. Then he leans up a little, keeping the most dangerous eye contact you’ve ever seen with you as he reaches toward the bedside table. He comes back with a condom and presses it against your chest.

“Fuck me,” he whispers.

You smile and take the condom.

“You should be moving on or staying still or whatever the hell you want,” you say as you open it. “You own a business. You can’t just quit like these people so staying in one place doesn’t mean the same for you.”

“You used to be so young and dumb,” he says quietly, a hint of a smile on his lips. You grin at him. “Where’d you learn all this mature stuff?”

“My boyfriend,” you tell him honestly, dropping the condom as you reach down to pull at his briefs. He lifts his hips, an action that you literally dream about, and you pull them down, freeing his dick and then you do the same for yourself. He hands you the lube and you press some against his entrance before you speak again:

“Nothing will ever take me away from you,” he says, this time more earnestly than ever. “Scrap means nothing. It wouldn’t give me and Aoba the same history me and you have.” You press a finger inside of Mizuki and he gasps. “It wouldn’t bring us together the way you and I are together.” You wiggle it around as you work your way in more. “And it certainly wouldn’t inspire me to fall in love with Aoba the way I fell in love with you.”

He’s too distracted to answer you so you manage to work in three fingers in silence. It’s not until you’re at his entrance and ready to push your dick in that you speak again:

“And I want to kiss you, too.”

So you do. You press yourself all the way into him and watch his face. He  _ does  _ seem to be more  _ with  _ you this time, like he actually feels this for the first time in a while. It’s not like you’ve ever done it when either of you don’t want to, but you get it: he’s been too distracted to be able to really be here for the past couple months.

Some of that is your fault. It’s your fault for not trying to talk to him before tonight. So you have to make it up to him. 

“Do you want it hard and fast?” you ask, your lips against Mizuki’s ear. “Or slow and soft?” You pause. “Or… somewhere in between?”

“I don’t care, as long as you kiss me.”

You opt for slow and soft. That allows for more kissing time.

His face is otherworldly. His mouth opens and closes, tiny mewls escaping each time and he stares at you in adoration, like you’re his idol, and he’s yours. His lips are soft and wet and sloppy because you don’t care anymore; you have to have him. You have to kiss him. His body writhes underneath you and you press into him with such passion that it drives  _ you  _ crazy. When you finally find his prostate, you start to go a little faster. His tongue falls out for a second as he pants against your chest. He plants a kiss there, too. You smile.

He comes first, between your bodies and when you come, it falls in the same place. He lets you continue fucking him as he’s coming down from his high and it sure doesn’t take you very long, not when your boyfriend looks like Mizuki. His body is still so lithe and wiry and you love it. You’ve gained some weight you’re trying to take off. Mizuki is just… perfect.

“Round two?” you ask a few moments later. 

“Already?”

“Why not?”

“I thought we’d cuddle,” Mizuki says with a laugh. His face is so red that your dick kind of springs back to life already. Not fully. Just a little bit. But enough for the round two offer to be genuine.

“You have to promise not to bottle stuff up anymore,” you tell him suddenly. He smiles a little and looks away.

“I’ll try,” he mumbles. He looks back at you and your stern glance. “Really. I will.”

“Good.”

You lean over and kiss his forehead. As you peer over the edge of the bed, you see Sake sitting and staring. He’s quickly joined by two other cats. You flop back down against the pillows.

“Maybe round two can wait.”

Mizuki is about to ask you what’s wrong when the orange one - he’s new and you forget his name - jumps up and quickly settles in between the both of you. You shake your head. Mizuki has a lot of gardens, but this one is such a cockblock.

 

**Author's Note:**

> i can't speak to how good or bad this is at this point, there's stuff i'd change - mostly dialogue - but it was nice to remember the good parts of dmmd and its fandom. i miss it.
> 
> in case you're wondering, i still have a [website](http://www.ambuckle.com) which has some of my original works.


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